There have been a number of recent and not-so-recent books about hope. The latest published by a psychologist in August of this year lists eight ways to find hope. Seems many of us are desperate to find hope for our future, hope that has about disappeared in this country because of the dismal political and social retrenchment in civil rights, in commonly-held manners and ethics, and in environmental and public health concerns as well, not to mention an inability to compromise.
I don't think that seeking hope will solve anything and thus, it should be set aside as a chimera, a useless pursuit of delusion.
There are two other things I believe are enduring and that will restore my activism, lighten my heart, and be worth my time, money, and effort.
These two things came to me after I was nudged by Beverly Gray, MD, an incredibly admirable Duke University School of Medicine physician who writes poetically in "Piece of My Mind" in the June 24, 2024 Journal of the American Medical Association* (sadly, you may encounter a paywall, but her story follows; gratefully, JAMA editors published my letter to the editors at the bottom of the page which is still accessible to any reader at the above link).
Dr. Gray dedicates enormous time and efforts in her OBGYN practice to drive part of the gorgeous Appalachian trail across the North Carolina state line to Virginia,**** totaling five hours each work day, in order to provide abortion care to pregnant women from states like hers, where male legislators have prohibited or seriously limited it* and thus severely, negatively impacted women's lives with dangerous and/or unwanted pregnancies. And as you may expect, she is subject to much abuse and threats for her efforts, and fatigue as well.
The extraordinary costs of the above are documented in a series of recordings on Duke University's website regarding abortion health care services. They sensitively describe costs to the spirits and pocketbooks of Dr. Gray and her colleague OBGYN physicians, plus the costs to her patients. Many of those patients drive for hours to seek care in Virginia, driving while they and their families are in terrible physical pain and mental stress. I wept while listening to the pathos in the stories, some of which I hope you will take a few minutes from your busy day to consider.
When I read the JAMA article I also wept, then immediately wrote an email of encouragement and appreciation to someone whom I perceived to be a sober sister feminist, to which Dr. Gray sent a prompt and kind reply. She mentioned that despite her fatigue, a specific book on hope gave her solace, one published originally in 2004 with a new preface written in 2016, Hope in the Dark by Rebecca Solnit.
I read it, but sadly, it seemed outdated. The world is in far worse shape eight years after Solnit's update. Especially since 2016 and the advent of our 45th president and his Supreme Court appointees, women and their families have suffered; progress has gone backwards by 50 to 100 years, not forward. And at this very instant in the US we face the prospect of a possible returning former President who will seek a nation-wide abortion ban, attempting for the foreseeable future to cement women's lives in misery under male control, with doctors' roles reduced to being nothing but puppets of the patriarchal State.**
BUT WE ARE NOT GOING BACK, ARE WE?
I wrote the below email to Dr. Gray with my further thoughts, explicating not hope, but two other things that are working to keep me moving forward and out of terminal despair right now. The gift of these thoughts and personal insights is a type of Appalachian "trail magic"*** to which Dr. Gray refers. That magic bestows special treasures that happen unexpectedly along our way in life, no matter if we consider one day or the long extent of it, should we be so lucky to live to old age.
Perhaps Dr. Gray's article, the two books mentioned above, or my two additional ways, will provide solace if you, too, are seeking to get back to your energetic advocacy for feminist and humanist causes no matter if your field is in medicine, music, or politics.
"Dear Bev, After some thought, I now realize what will restore my activism on behalf of humanism and self-determination for women in this country, but it surely is not hope, of which I have none left.
"First, I will move forward simply because it is the RIGHT AND JUST thing to do no matter my lack of hope, that is, to work toward and speak out about my feminist and humanist values. And I will continue to pursue and attempt to in-joy, and spread joy and encourage empathy in my music, poetry, and writings.
"Second, I will move forward simply because I am GRATEFUL to you and other younger women and men medical colleagues who put your health, well being, and professional efforts on the line to benefit women and those who are suffering from the massive and still-threatening retrenchment in all civil and women's rights. (I include a pitifully few pro-feminist pro-humanist allied men who have been extremely thoughtful - and activist in word and deed - about these matters.)
"You help assuage my enormous grief from a perceived wasted life of efforts on behalf of women and humanism. Now toward the end of my life with not that many more years left to turn this nation around, I shall get to work again!"
***
After posting today's blog I received this message from a male friend: "I deeply appreciated your thoughts so well expressed with your ever present sincerity and heartfelt intentions. You may feel that 'hope' has let you down, but as I read this, you give me hope."
Funny how certain efforts pay forward the treasures we have received in our lives, often in unsuspected ways! Perhaps that's the best reason to carry on doing our best, and doing good in the world?
_______
*Clearly implicated in this reversal of women's reproductive rights including rights to use IVF to have children, are the invidious, insideous, and reprehensible legal cases now in some 14 states proposing that a fetus from the moment of conception is a "person" capable of rights and being murdered. I have no problem with anyone believing and acting on that principal, but I do have a significant problem with legally imposing that principal on everyone else. "Fetal personhood laws often impose significant burdens and legal risks on pregnant patients and their clinicians...Fetal personhood policies enable lawmakers to advance their antiabortion goals while forgoing meaningful measures to improve health outcomes, such as expanding postpartum Medicaid coverage or addressing widening racial disparities in maternal mortality rates." Carmel Shakar, an attorney and the author of the cited JAMA article, urges that we " advocate for policies that prioritize the health and autonomy of pregnant people."
**This being the clearly possible future in mid-September 2024, I often wonder why the AMA and other powerful unions and lobbyists of and for physicians, do not rise up in outrage that their practice of medicine is being excessively controlled by the State in contravention of their oath to "do no harm", an oath that implies a duty to save lives and promote health and well being? Why is there not one united front of US physicians focused on stopping this national return to the paradigm of "women as property", apparently reflecting a male belief that we women are idiots incapable of making a just and fair decision to manage our own and our families' health and well-being? Since the Dobb's decision reversing Roe v. Wade, I have read only one letter to the editor of the NYTimes by a physician who railed against this interference in his practice of medicine.
***From Dr. Gray's article: "The Appalachian Trail conservancy defines trail magic as 'finding what you most need when you least expect it, experiencing something rare, extraordinary, or inspiring in nature, and encountering unexpected acts of generosity that restore one’s faith in humanity.'”
**** I read on Sept. 16 that most women do not know their abortion rights in their state. Thus, I added the following list as of that date for the most restrictive states. However, I am unable to represent accuracy bUt only an indication of rights as they might have exIsted at that date. Rights are changing every day because of ongoing litigation, so call to a local Planned Parenthood office or attorney. ABORTION ESSENTIALLY BANNED totally: Al, Ak, Id, In, KY, LA, ND, SD, Tenn, Tx, WVa, Miss. BANNED AFTER 6 WEEKS (virtually useless to most women): SC, Io, Fla, BANNED AFTER 12 WEEKS (hardly better): NC, Ne, Ar, Ut, Nv, Ok for now, Mont, Wy, Ala, Va. OTHER STATES MAINTAIN ESSENTIALLY THE ROE V WADE AVAILABILITY.
***
AN APOLOGIA
“Essences seek carriers in matter” (and sometimes for the worse.*)
This is why I write. A compulsion, not compunction
since there’s no guilty intention or evident curse.
I imagine that I know by now the lessons of long life,
what some in poetry would call my “essential truths” and tales
that guide my every step and justify each strife.
Hanging onto those pretty lessons, boiled down to just these few,
to do what’s right and strive for justice, then be kind
to others met in joy, or suffering, as seems all humans do,
These matters of my life, essential to my soul
are deeply felt and may be glimpsed if never seen,
their truth I’ve gleaned from pleasure and from toil,
Lessons shared on days of luck with those who listen well
and ask me questions that say they care, and draw me close
to tell their stories and share their feelings and my happiness foretell.
A chance encounter in a second’s time may us delight,
or eons pass in bliss from inexplicable connections,
each a gift and jewel indeed in the diadem of life.
_____
*A statement from The Books of Jacob: A Novel by Olga Tokarczuk
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